The Wylde Interview: Tom Daley
WATER WORLD:
OUR BOY TOM DALEY IS GEARING UP TO REP THE UK AT NEXT YEAR’S OLYMPICS. BUT FIRST THE WYLDE ONE DIVES HEADFIRST INTO OUR ROUGH-AND-READY BIKER SHOOT AND TELLS DAVID NEWTON ABOUT PILOTS, PILATES… AND POOPY NAPPIES
PHOTOGRAPHY BY LEE MALONE
STYLING BY DEE MORAN
Jacket: Z Zegna / T-shirt: Sunspel / Trousers: Pringle of Scotland / Necklace: Stephen Einhorn
“I always have a dream that I’m falling. Something like: I’m walking up the stairs, then I’ll fall over the side. I always seem to fall; I never land; I just keep falling. I don’t know why.”
Quite a common dream, you would think, but I confess my eyes widened somewhat when Britain’s most famous diver, Tom Daley, confessed this nocturnal oddity to me, when we met at the Aquatics Centre in London’s Olympic Park, where he is training for next year’s Covid-delayed Olympics in Tokyo. But over the course of our hour-long chat, it became apparent that this was just one example of the 25-year-old’s disarming honesty and willingness to convey the whole person behind the swimming trunks, insecurities and all.
Yes, there was the expected sports-speak about pushing oneself to the limits and being the best, but I went away agog with admiration that this still very young man, who has been in the frequently cruel spotlight since he was a child, seems to have come through some considerable challenges – bullying, the death of his father, his decision to come out – and emerged on the other side happy, settled and sane.
Some facts and figures (those who suffer from high-achiever-phobia, look away now): Tom was spotted at the ripe old age of seven in his home town of Plymouth and by 14 was representing the UK at the Beijing Olympics; he is to this day the youngest ever athlete to appear in a final. He’s won over 100 gold, silver and bronze medals at major diving events around the world. He’s been awarded BBC Young Sports Personality of the Year three times; no one else has won more than once. He’s married to Oscar-winning screenwriter/producer Dustin Lance Black and the couple have a son, Robbie.
Desperate to rough Tom up – in the nicest way possible, of course – we decided to shoot him on a chilly January day in a North London motorbike garage…
Leather jacket: Schott NYC / Vest: Dolce & Gabbana @ matchesfashion.com / Jeans: Acne Studios @ matchesfashion.com / Necklace and signet rings:Stephen Einhorn
Wylde: Did you enjoy the shoot, Tom?
Tom Daley: The shoot was fantastic. I was freezing but it was really good fun. And it was quick! We were, like, in and out, as I had to train that afternoon.
How easy is it to switch in and out of training mode?
You have to be able to compartmentalise your life. I do a lot of mindfulness and meditation, and I think it’s very powerful. You get more out of your life if you’re able to go to work, and leave work at work, and be able to come back and have family time without worrying.
Who got you into meditation?
It was actually Lance. I’d always heard about meditation and I was like: “Oh, it’s not going to work. Does it really work? Come on!” I started doing it back in, like, 2016, and it helped change my perspective and the way I think. You’re not so quick to make decisions on things, and you’re not so emotional about them; you can actually make rational decisions. For me, meditation really helps.
Do you do it first thing in the morning?
It used to be first thing in the morning, but now my son has other ideas about what happens in the morning, so when he goes to bed at night, my husband and I sit down and do it together, actually. We just sit there and do 10 minutes. Sometimes I’ll do it on the tube on the way home, it depends how busy it is.
Denim jacket: Tom Ford @ Mr Porter / Jeans: Levi’s / Vintage denim shirt: Beyond Retro / Ring: Tom’s own
You still travel on the tube?!
Yeah! It’s the fastest way for me to get home. Being a parent has changed my perspective on everything. Like, I found it really difficult before, to leave diving at the pool and not worry about it, whereas as soon as I come through the door now, I’m having to change poopy nappies…
You literally do that yourself? You don’t have an army of nannies?
No! We’ve never had a nanny. Robbie goes to nursery now three days a week, but that’s about it.
Are you enjoying all that work?
Yeah, I’m enjoying it. It’s a challenge, and it’s bloody difficult, but it’s the most amazing, rewarding, challenging experience ever. The hardest part is, as a sportsperson, going away and competing and not seeing my family for a couple of weeks at a time.
There’s the small matter of the Olympics coming up; will your husband and child go to Tokyo?
Yes, they’ll go to Tokyo and watch, but I go away so often for training camps and competitions as well. They don’t go to all of those things, so that time away can be tough.
Vest: Dolce & Gabbana @ matchesfashion.com / Jeans: Acne Studios @ matchesfashion.com / Necklace and signet rings: Stephen Einhorn
What does it mean to you to represent your country?
It’s everything. It’s what I’ve dreamed of ever since I was a young kid: to wear that Team GB kit. There’s something very special about the first time you get to represent your country, and wearing that kit makes you feel very proud.
Does how you train change with where you are in your life?
Yes, it changes quite dramatically. When you’re younger it’s all about learning. I’ve been training since I was seven, so I’ve been doing it for nearly 20 years. The first 10 or so years, it’s all learning, and you’re figuring out what you’re doing. I’ve been doing the dives I do since 2015, so now it’s just about perfecting those dives and getting them to a stage where they’re second nature. I don’t have to do as many numbers, because I’m getting older as a diver.
You’re still really young, though.
But I have to be really smart about how I train, so that my body’s able to last, and I’m not breaking down and getting injured.
Vintage suede jacket: Beyond Retro
When’s your body going to give up?
Oh, I have no idea!
Is there a sell-by date for what you do?
I guess there is, especially for the men’s platform, to be at the top of your game. Your body is going to get injured more frequently. People retire around 30; between 26 and 30 is kind of your window. If you really look after yourself, you could last to 30-plus. I’ve been doing extra things like yoga, Gyrotonics, meditation – all those things that can help you last a bit longer.
What’s Gyrotonics?
It’s kind of like Pilates, but functional movement training, really. It’s about spiralling your spine and being able to create more space in your joints. It’s not like yoga, and it’s not like Pilates, but it’s kind of like both.
Jacket: Z Zegna / T-shirt: Sunspel / Trousers: Pringle of Scotland / Necklace: Stephen Einhorn / Ring: Tom’s own
Will this be your last Olympics, coming up?
I wouldn’t say it’d be my last Olympics. I always said I wanted to do five, and five would take me up to 2024. This [Tokyo] will be my fourth. But, again, it’s whether my body holds out. I want to do this as long as I can, because I love it. I want to do it as long as my body will let me. I’m going to be taking a break after 2021, because after each Olympic cycle I like to take a few months just to switch off and chill and be normal again. And then I get back into it, and then we’ll see where it goes. I’ll take about three months off.
What are you going to do on your break?
Go and chill, have a holiday, be with friends. I haven’t been on a skiing holiday for so long; I’d love to go skiing. But if I need to take an extra month, I might take one. I’m always an active person so, in those three months I’m not going to sit and do nothing. I mean, if it’s a Sunday, and I’ve got nothing to do, and Robbie’s asleep, I can’t just sit there and watch TV. I’ve got to bake a cake, or do the laundry…
What’s Lance like? Are you complementary in that way?
Lance loves his work, and will work, and work, and work. So sometimes we both have to tell ourselves to switch off, and to do that we have to go away from London, because if we have time off in London we end up hosting things, and it’s not a break. We go back to California quite often because that’s where Lance is from.
Vintage suede jacket: Beyond Retro / Polo shirt: Sandro / Jeans: Wrangler / Boots: Z Zegna / Signet rings (on right hand): Stephen Einhorn / Other ring:Tom’s own
Robbie’s coming up to two-years-old now, right? What’s his personality like?
He’ll be two in June. Oh my gosh, he’s really, really happy. He’s a little bit of a trickster: he likes to hide, and he’ll also give you something and then, as you go to take it, he’ll snatch it away. He’s a bit cheeky, he’s really funny. He’s also really tidy, which he doesn’t get from me or Lance.
A two-year-old kid is tidy?! Does he get all of his toys and line them up?
He lines them up, or he’ll tip all of his Lego bricks out, and then put them all back, and then he’ll tip them out again, and put them back…
You’ve got an OCD two-year-old!
He likes all the drawers being closed. If there’s, like, a little bit of clothing sticking out of one of our drawers, he’ll open it, put the clothes in, and push it shut. It’s really funny, I think he likes the order. I’m like: “Come on, make a mess!” I mean, when it comes to food, and painting, and Play-Doh, that’s all over the place. He likes throwing all that kind of stuff. So he’s not afraid to get messy. But he likes tidiness too!
Denim jacket: Tom Ford @ Mr Porter / Jeans: Levi’s / Vintage denim shirt: Beyond Retro
Has being a dad been different from how you imagined it?
I’ve become a lot more emotional and protective, more than I ever thought I would. You realise you will do anything to protect your kids. You just become so much more emotional, like, when you see stories in the news about kids going through tough situations, I just can’t even imagine what the parents are going through, what they’re thinking.
Did you have an epiphany moment when you were a little kid, and thought: “Oh my God… I love diving into water!”?
If anything, it started off a bit more as a hate relationship. I remember starting it and absolutely loving it, but then on holiday I hit my head on the poolside, and I’ve got a scar here [showing me his forehead] from it. And for about six months after, I was kind of terrified. It was a battle over “I love this, but I’m not loving it right now”, and it took me six months to actually get over the fact that I was scared of it. That was the turning moment for me; I had this massive learning curve and became able to get to a point where I was in contention to qualify for the Olympics in 2008.
How do you counteract adversity and deal with setbacks in life in general, not just in sport?
I think you can feel disappointed in that moment; you can feel upset, and overthink it, and worry about what you could have done differently. But when something bad – or good – has happened in your life, you can’t change it, and you shouldn’t spend any unnecessary time or energy worrying about something that you can’t change. You can only focus on now to help change something in the future.
Leather jacket: Schott NYC / Vest: Dolce & Gabbana @ matchesfashion.com / Necklace: Stephen Einhorn
Do you get taught that in sport?
Sometimes I have bad diving competitions, where I’ve done a bad dive, but coming back and doing a good dive the next time, and still winning a medal; you have to learn to be able to do that, or else you do one bad dive and then you may as well quit.
We always hear on the outside that there is a lot of psychology in sport…
Yeah, there’s a lot of psychology. There’s a lot of things you have to learn, like the breathing skills, visualisation, trying to live in the moment. You can’t waste energy on things that have already happened. And something that’s already happened doesn’t mean that the next thing is automatically going to be worse, or be the same. Every dive is a new dive; the one that you did before has no correlation to what the next dive is going to be like.
Sounds like your experience hitting your head as a little kid helped you learn that too. Is there an element of being self-taught?
Yeah, completely. I think to be an elite athlete, some of it has to be self-taught. You can be taught so many things, but some people are just innate worriers and they worry about everything, some people are so laid back that they couldn’t give a rat’s arse about it, and then some people are so focused on what they need to do that they don’t let anything get in the way.
Is that you?
Yeah, I would say I’m quite blinkered, but at the same time I’m not invincible. I do have bad days and bad weeks and even bad months, where I’m like: “Oh my God, I can’t do this, I’ve lost it, I don’t know what I’m doing”, and you feel like everything’s gone. But I also know that I will come out the other side of it, because I’ve done so before. And when you’re at the bottom and you’ve got nothing left in the tank, you’ve got nothing to lose. You can just go and give it your all… and it does come back.
Vintage suede jacket: Beyond Retro / Polo shirt: Sandro
What’s going through your mind in the few seconds before a dive?
I do 10 seconds at the back of the board, I do 10 deep breaths, and then I stand. I have to keep my eyes open when I’m spinning around because I have to spot where I am, but at the back of the board I close my eyes for 10 seconds and do 10 deep breaths in and 10 deep breaths out to try and calm the nerves, slow the heartbeat, and just be still.
Is there any difference in how you train, depending on the climate of where you’re going? Or will it be inside?
Tokyo’s going to be inside. Sometimes we dive outdoors, like in Rio, but this Olympics is going to be indoors. So it’s going to be hot like here [the Aquatic Centre in London]. It’s more about getting out there early enough to acclimatise to the time zone and different food; all that kind of stuff.
Have you been to Japan before?
Yes, I’ve been to Tokyo a few times; it’s great. The whole culture is fascinating to me. I think they’re going to do an awesome job with the Olympics. Everything has to be done perfectly and precisely and I think that’s a good recipe for an Olympic Games. Their technology is so advanced, and I think there’s going to be an amazing opening ceremony.
Being gay in sport is – thank God – becoming more and more visible. Do you see yourself as a sort of role model for young kids?
Yes. When I was younger, I didn’t have anyone to look up to in sport. I came out in 2013 and it was one of the scariest things. I was just so scared and I thought: “I’m going to lose all my sponsors.”
Do you feel that you have a responsibility, being still at the top of your career?
I understand that I have a responsibility, whether I like it or not.
Vintage suede jacket: Beyond Retro / Polo shirt: Sandro
Really? You shouldn’t have to have a responsibility, I think, because a straight person doesn’t have to have a responsibility…
I know, but also straight people don’t get prejudice and, when I was younger, if I’d seen someone come out and still be at the top of their game in sport…
It’s a shame that you almost have to work extra because you’re in a minority.
I don’t think I am working extra, I’m just living my life; I’ve got a husband and I’ve got a kid, and we’re gay dads, and I’m doing sport. I just do me and people can realise you can be a sportsperson and you can be gay, you can be lesbian, bisexual, transgender, you can be whoever you want to be, and you can let your sport do the talking. I know if I was younger and I’d seen something like that… When you’re growing up you feel like you’re on the outside, you’re an outsider, you always feel like you’re less than, you feel like you’re different, you feel like you’re never going to be the cool kid or anything like that. So it’s only now, looking back on it, that I think: “Oh, wow, maybe some kid has seen that and thought: ‘Maybe it doesn’t matter if I feel different like that.’”
Are you aware of many other sportspeople, not just in your line, who are afraid to come out?
I don’t know of any divers that haven’t come out, ’cos there are other gay divers – not as many as you would imagine. I think lots of people think that diving is quite a gay sport because…
... you’re semi-naked all the time!
I don’t think diving’s a sport where people would get upset. I mean, in football, though, I think they worry more about the fans than the other players. But it takes people coming out and telling their personal story and still being able to perform, you know, it can’t just happen by no one saying anything.
You’re very unusual, because famously gay sportspeople usually come out after their career has run its course, but you’re right at the top still. That’s amazing.
I don’t know, I didn’t want to hide any more. It got to the point where I didn’t want people to think of me as hiding who I was, or being ashamed of who I was, because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. So, I think that was a big thing for me.
Denim jacket: Tom Ford @ Mr Porter / Jeans: Levi’s / Vintage denim shirt: Beyond Retro / Boots: Red Wing / Ring: Tom’s own
Who are your heroes?
My dad was my hero. Greg Louganis is a big hero of mine, mainly for his diving rather than the fact that he is a gay man. Alexandre Despatie, who’s another diver who achieved so much so young… that was really inspiring for me, and I looked up to him a lot.
What are you into, outside sport?
I love cooking; I’ve done a couple of cookbooks.
Are you vegetarian?
No, I do eat meat. I would say I was probably 80% plant-based. I probably eat meat twice a week.
Are there vegetarian athletes?
Yeah, and vegan athletes. You can hit the right amount of protein without eating animals, there’s no question.
What’s your signature dish?
Some kind of salmon teriyaki. I like Asian food. I make curries quite often.
How hot?
My friends don’t like hot, but I like hot. I also like classics; bangers and mash is one of my all-time favourites. But Lance doesn’t eat meat, so I often have Quorn sausages, or Linda McCartney’s. I definitely don’t eat red meat, though.
You’re very active on social media; what’s the appeal for you?
I do a YouTube video every Sunday. I did Photography GCSE and A-level, and I just enjoyed having a little bit of a creative output; something to distract me from diving. When it comes to Instagram and things like that, I just post when I want to post. I’m not someone who’s like: “I need to post at this time, I need to make sure I have these tags.” I just use it to connect with friends and fans, and let people know what I’m up to.
You have two million followers on Instagram, andyou’re a bit of an Insta sex symbol, I’ve noticed. When you take off your shirt you get half a million more likes! Are you OK with that?
I spend all my time in a pool, and I see my body as a thing, a vessel to be able to do my sport. It’s my machine.
But you realise a lot of other people have a very different view of it?
Yeah, I guess..!
Have you ever done a calendar?
I used to do calendars, not so much now. I did ones in 2013, 2014 and 2015, and that was it.
You’d sell a huge amount if you put one calendar image on your Instagram and said: “Click this link!” You’d probably sell a million.
Oh, I don’t know about that. I don’t think 50% of my followers would be that engaged to buy one. Some people follow me for my sport. There’s a balance.
Are you into fashion? What kind of clothes do you like?
I like lots of tailored things, and things that are sports-tailored things, like bomber jackets, and I do quite like denim jackets. I like to be comfortable. I try to make myself look taller than I am, so, like, cropped trousers.
Is there a body shape you really need to keep to, for sport?
I have to be as small as possible. I have to be strong, but as small as possible because as soon as you get too big you start making bigger splashes.
If you hadn’t become a champion diver, is there anything else you could have done?
I think I’d like to have been a pilot. That was something I was always obsessed with when I was younger.
Any burning ambitions left?
Post-diving, I guess, I’d like to do the Olympics as a TV host, like Clare Balding.
I hear that Jaws is one of your favourite movies? How strange!
Jaws is one of my favourites! I know, it’s weird! It’s one of the first scary films I was allowed to watch when I was younger. I love horror, thriller kind of movies. I watched Parasite the other day; I thought that was great.
Favourite music?
It really does depend what kind of vibe it is, but when I’m training, I listen to a lot of pop, or EDM. There’s a playlist on Spotify called Massive Pop Remixes that I like. That’s kind of my vibe. Acoustic Covers is also a good Spotify playlist, for when I’m cooking at home, and chilling out with friends. I listen to a lot of nursery rhymes as well at the minute. Lullabies, everything.
We’re back to sleep again, and I hope the lullabies ward off this champion diver’s future dream falls. Of course, it doesn’t take a Freud to interpret these slips as more than mere sports-angst; the ultra- switched-on perfectionist I met in the hot-house atmosphere of the Aquatic Centre seems to really care about getting every aspect of his life right. And from where I’m sitting, he’s doing a pretty good job. So… come on, Tom, do us proud and grab a gold in Tokyo. No pressure!
Grooming: Sally O’Neill @ Caren
Photographer’s assistant: Andrew Rankin
Stylist’s assistant: William Larkin
Shot on location at Bolt Motorcycles, London.
Special thanks to Andrew Almond @ boltlondon.com
and Peter Bellerby @ bellerbyandco.com for the Bentley